Emotions & People

I often wonder why we make the decisions we do in life. Like really...Half of the things that we decide are stupid at the time. We follow our emotions no matter where they take us. Emotions are what run us, what drive us, what inspire us. Without emotions we wouldn't be humans. That's what seperates us from machines our ability to make decisions our emotions and our thoughts. When we use the phrase "follow your heart" it is just an emotion that is linked to the brain that gives us another decision to make. Our heart doesn't have a mind. It creates/causes emotions in which our mind processes and then we make a decision based on that. So, when we say we don't think about a decision in essence we do. Because no action excuted is unthought about. We say we get caught up in the moment, but we don't we get caught up in the emotions of that moment. Whether it be passion, pleasure, desire, anger, or love. Every action we have rationalized before and after. Sometimes we rationalize it afterwards and regret it because our emotions have calmed. But before our emotions have calmed we have already rationalized it in a sense.

That's why it is hard for some people to forgive. Because whatever someone did to them it evoked an emotion from them usually of hurt, anger, or disappointment. Think about it we don't apologize or forgive people for doing something that made us happy. We forgive people for doing something that hurt us. And sometimes we are hurt so much that we can't let go of what someone did. We have to remember that one action does not define us as a person. And for us who are guilt ridden about being forgiven. You have to apologize and ask the person for forgiveness and learn from that mistake and don't repeat it. If you are constantly repeating the same mistake then you are not learning. And for those who can't and don't forgive. Why hold on to something someone has done to you. Why not forgive? You may never forget but you can forgive. Why walk around holding unrepressed feelings about what someone did to you? I forgive easily because I know I make mistakes and I would want a person to forgive me if I did something wrong. We always want people to forgive us if we hurt them but we don't want to forgive those who hurt us. That's not how it should be. We tend to forgive our friends easier than the people we are in relationships with. Think about the friends you have had for years, haven't they committed a wrong against you and haven't you forgiven them. So, why can't we forgive the ones we are in relationships with? Some friendships last longer than marriages because we are so quick to forgive friends. Why not forgive equally? I'm not saying let someone run over you and treat you any kind of way but forgive them. They are human, they make mistakes.

Women typically have a bestfriend that is their go to person. And us women sometimes don't know how to handle having a partner and a bestfriend. Some when they get in a relationship ignore our bestfriends or we still give them the same respect they got before we entered into a relationship. Now, this is tricky how to balance friendships/relationships. Because most people think that well this relationship might not last and my friend will be here forever. What kind of way is that to go into a relationship? That's not positive thinking. We don't enter friendships thinking that this isn't going to last. Really though...When you have a significant other cut out time for both your friend and your partner. Sometimes when you're out with your friends tell your significant other i'm going out with my friends to hang out and you leave that person at home. Sometimes you go out with your significant other for quality time and leave the friend at home or don't call them and text on the phone like we tend to do. And sometimes it can intertwine but make sure that they both feel appreciated. Because when it comes time to spend the rest of your life with eventually your significant other and family will take precendence over your friend and your friend should be able to understand that as well as you. You can still have time for both but its different. And don't tell your friends all your dirty laundry about your relationships because 9 times out of 10 you're not going to tell them all the good stuff they have done you are going to tell them mostly bad. And we get mad when our friends or family like the ones we are dating. It's because you've told them all the bad. So, why should they like them? Try telling them the good too. And try when you're telling them about the arguement to convey both sides. We know in an arguement if we are wrong or right or equally to blame as the other person.

Every relationship ends up at a point when it gets hard, when you either fight or take flight. That's when you have to make the decision not based on what others think but based on how you feel. If the person has made you happy before figure out whats wrong and try to get back to that point. Take responsibility for your actions and don't blame it all on the other person. Be real and talk. That's why relationships fail friendships and relationships the lack of communication. How do you expect people to know what you are thinking or feeling if you don't talk. And if someone is telling you something for constructive criticsm most likely you've heard it before so don't get angry about it. Sit down reflect on it and try and change and grow. We have to grow and mature and if we don't whats the point in something being called a mistake if you don't learn from it and try and fix it.